Something to Feel

Do whatever to get me by
Out of the low and into high

A slave to my moods, I fall in
Thoughts of pain and loss and sin

Sell my soul just to be free
Out of my box so I can truly be

Give me what I want, what I need
I'll sweat, I'll cry, I'll even bleed

Can't stand it all, it's such a bore
Need something else, need something more

Is this really all I am?
Can't find a way to give a damn.

I need a push, even to fall
Better than feeling nothing at all

Anita

My favorite heroin
Protector of the weak
Slayer of the bad
Lover of the dead

A good little Christian
Not forsaken in her ruthlessness
She gives herself entirely
To the undesired cause

Living blood and pain
Peace is ever elusive
Morals give way to necessity
Black and white become gray

Fearless with arms
Deadly with or without
Strong enough to survive
A monster to fight the monsters

A Different Kind of Fantasy

I saw you sitting there
By yourself, but not alone I knew.
The draw was unexpected
Like my eyes had a mind of their own.
I've never swung that far left before
For you I'd do a 180.
Just like the girl in the movie,
But more of a woman than I'll ever be.
Encouraged by my rock and my weakness
I pushed past my insecurities.
Out on the dance floor playground
I totally let myself go.
You taught me something new
Something I didn't know was there.
And for one short night
I lived the fantasy I never knew I had.

The Guilt of Not Feeling Guilty

The fantasy has turned memory, the dream finally realized
I was shocked by your boldness, though you’d spoke of it often
Turning speculation into action was easy once decided
Simple enough to afford many a repeat performance…if we dare
I have no reservations about the giving, taking, and sharing
My biggest concern is my lack of outrage over my actions
I’ve not questioned my morals, my sanity, or my reasoning
I wonder what it means that it didn’t really mean anything
It’s a fine line and a slippery slope, but I’m not deterred
Though putting the ball in your court makes it easier to justify
Perhaps one of your own yearnings will press us forward
Then I can enjoy it without the guilt of not feeling guilty
Or maybe you’ll end it here, and I feel the shame I deserve

Forbidden Fruit

A deep dark secret
I can never tell
of skin on skin
and him on him.

What does it make me
a freak, a whore?
Craving hardness
on hardness and more.

Testosterone overload
eyes open wide
Watch muscle flex
and muscle press.

Pictures in my mind
such an intriguing sight
of head to head
and cheek to cheek.

The perfect invasion
A huge taboo
Open wide
and take it in.

Looks to Kill (A Tribue to Scott Weiland)

Baggy jeans and flannel
weren't quite your.
So it didn't take long
to find something new.

The eyeliner days
were totally glam.
Like the Barbarella look
on the cover of BAM!

Dressed up like a woman
in leather and heels
Evoked from the crowd
loud whistles and squeals.

Those shiny silver pants
drove us insane.
It's really too bad
they went up in flames.

Wearing a suit
you clean up real nice.
We swoon at your feet
no need to entice.

Looking like a Nazi
we stood by your side.
It was just a short time
but such a fun ride.

Those great feather boas
the ties and the hats
So many accessories
least not the tats.

And then there's the hair
enough can't be said
Short, long and shaved
blond, brown and red.

Wrapped up in a flag
you showed lots of gall
But we like you best
in nothing at all.

Secret Obsession

It started with a kiss, not mine but theirs
Soft and tentative, then bold and demanding

Sharing their passion with the world
I’m lucky to witness the intimate moment

I could watch them all day, these two beauties
Tuned in and turned on by their public display

Staged resistance was the initial pull
But the truth is much more interesting

Hiding in plain sight, a lie for the voyeurs
I see through the façade of repulsion

The way they move together betrays the scene
Each giving and taking as only lovers can

I’m drawn again and again to their unique love
Perfect and pure in its depravity

I’ll keep your dirty little secret as well as my own
Just please let the show go on